All That Jazz

"I had a date last night. And it was awesome!! My first date in my entire life!! ^_^ he paid and everything and honestly....I loved it. I do like him. He's one of those guys that are funny yet laid back, but still tries to impress you. :) I mean, he drove!! :O I never have a chance like that. Almost every single one of my ex's didn't know how to drive, didn't have a car, or didn't want to drive.....I take that back. Every single one of my ex's were like that. XD and the funny thing is, I didn't feel uncomfortable around him. Like, I wasnt self-concious at all, and usually I always am. I'm always worried about how I look because I'm uncomfortable with my weight and all that jazz. So it sort of was a deal to me. Lol!! But I always have this feeling afterwards that I'm just not good enough and I'll just be ignored after the fact because it almost always happens, and the one time when that didnt happen, he just used me for a stupid book!! -_-" yeah, long story. I might write it later, kinda doubt it though. Lol bad memories. But I don't know....It was so nice and I had so much fun. I love it when a guy can actually make me laugh and smile. I dont smile too often unless I'm with my friends, so it's sort of a deal to me. :P. I'm just sitting here writing and thinking back on the entire night and how nice it was. That there's someone who enjoys singing and smoking and having fun doing stupid shit but not actually risking their lives. Having fun getting kicked out of target and walmart and seeing it as a fantastic memory and not something it's to be ashamed of. :) yes...I'm literally smiling right now because I can almost never find someone like that....and if I do....yeah....douche canoes...lol
I think I'm going to go ahead and talk to this guy more because, well....I likes.... :3

Relationships....

What do you do to get someone to like you? Impress them? Be yourself? Buy them stuff? I don't get it. I mean, how do you get someone to notice you? Not even just one person in particular, but anyone. And If you do attract someone, how do you know that they aren't after one thing? How do you make sure they're good people? That they won't hurt you and break you down? Won't make you hate yourself more than you already do? How does that work? Is it possible? How is it possible for one person alone to make another being feel so bad?? Why are people so ignorant? Why are they so blind?we could all have something so wonderful and beautiful in front of us, but instead we see it as ugly, or we let our friends and family change our minds for us and see it as horrible. Especially one person who could make the other so much better. We rely on friends too much. I'm not saying that having friends and relying on their opinions is bad ,but relying on them like a baby pup with their mother is a little rediclious. Opinions can greatly open our eyes, but we dont need them to survive. You know?