I kinda don't like this.
I say "Kinda" for a reason. I love it. like legit love.... yeah..."Love." -sighs- But...I don't like it because well.."love!" lol I mean...It took me almost a year to realize that I never got over him. How? Because he called me the nickname he gave me a year ago. "Bunneh." He called me it. I busted into tears. So clearly...lol But...the part that is killing me is knowing that it won't ever happen again. But then we talked today, and it didn't go as horribly as I thought it would...though his words don't match with his actions. So...He might start avoiding me again which is one of the things I dread the most. He says: "You know I can always make you smile in the end." Well...can you? I'm crying. lol I'm upset. I'm depressed. I'm alone. I'm so lonely...I'm frowning. Can't the end come sooner? All I want to do right now is smile. No...that's a lie. I also want to hug you, breathe you in, savor every moment. cherish it. make it into a fantastic memory. You're afraid to hurt me and treat me like shit?? Dude, six guys cheated on me and you couldn't although you were being blackmailed. I think you'll be fine. lol I just...I don't want to be away from you....I can't do that anymore. I don't want to. I won't...But I think I'm going to have to.
I don't like that....
I'm sorry...but I still love you. :///
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