MAdness II

I'm not afraid anymore. I understand it. It's more than bEing angry,  or being pushed,  or instigated... it's knowing what you want. How you want things to go. Usually,  the more afraid of it you are,  the more it happens.  With me, it's different. I got threats,  but never the full blow. now.... I understand it. I feel my heart pounding in my chest, slowly being able to hear it in my ears. I cant control it,  but it happens when I need it the most. When Me,  myself, am too afraid to speak out because of the consequences... it's my way of dealing. JUst how it is. YOu have your ways,  I have mine. Let's leave it at that,  shall we?  :)

MADNESS....

Sometimes it's like i cant think straight.... the MadneSs overtakes me.  I cant stand it.  It scares me. I'm afraid of what i might happen. What i would do.  What i would say. Who i might hurt. I'm afraid. I dont know what to do sometimes.  Especially when it happens... how do i stop it?..... i dont think i can...